We left Ottawa and cycled to the south of the Ottawa River towards Montreal. I was uncomfortable as this was not in the Plan - my Plan. You see, I have detailed every day of cycling in a spreadsheet - each day is a stage with the route pre programmed into the Garmin GPS. It is quite a bit OCD but it works. Respect the Plan.
Now Susan is less of a 'planner' and more of a free spirit. She often says we shouldn't be bound by the Plan and I agree that we should perhaps be more flexible. However, the undeniable righteousness of the Plan means that different ideas are wrong. So our cycling maxim is 'follow the Plan for the Plan knows best'.
On this day we were on the east side of Ottawa and to follow the Plan would mean a 10km cycle back to the centre of the city to cross to the north side of the Ottawa River. We decided to continue east against word of the Plan. Yes I was weak and as we cycled along Susan remarked 'it's the pragmatic decision'. I was choking as I agreed with her.
As it turned out we had a good day's cycle along relatively flat roads in the sun. The countryside was lovely. However, after 100km, in the late afternoon, the skies opened as we arrived at the campsite at the Voyageur Provincial Park. We were soaked and told the campsite was full - it was the August bank holiday weekend. I wasn't surprised because this campsite was not in the Plan.
When I told the girl on reception we were not cycling any further she agreed to put us in the overflow field. Oh she had the last laugh. The overflow field had been booked by the Peruvian Sporting Club. Last thing you would expect is hundreds of Peruvians in a Canadian campsite but that's what happens when you don't follow the Plan. Oh and believe me when I say the Peruvians know how to have a good time, especially when they have a karaoke machine and a boom box with 100 greatest Peruvian hits.
Thankfully, we had a few beers to help us sleep.
'Everything is better with a Creemore Springs Premium Lager'.
In the morning we left before the Peruvians were awake and followed the GPS to a highway that didn't allow bicycles. That's what happens when you allow a GPS to go 'off Plan'. So we cycled westwards, back the way we came, to find a bridge to cross over to the north side of the river, adding another 40km to,our journey. So when people ask about which way we crossed Canada I can now say we travelled east and west! That's what happens when you don't follow the Plan.
Eventually we reached the suburbs of Montreal. The GPS was in charge as we cycled through one shady district after another. Traffic light after traffic light hindered any progress. Thousands of traffic lights and if you are cycling and can't catch the right sequence you get stopped at every one. Even the 'ladies of the night' left me alone when they saw how knackered I was sitting on the bike. Obviously they didn't carry portable resuscitation machines.
At 7.30pm we pulled into a Tim Hortons for a break and something to eat. As we parked the bike we noticed a group of guys that looked like extras from some American cop show. As Susan ordered I remained outside to look after the bike. 'Use you're police experience' Susan said. 'Don't be daft' I replied. 'This is not the time for a three year crime reduction plan with a performance matrix to demonstrate deliverable results'.
Instead I made eye contact with the ring leader. I could tell he was the ring leader as he had an impressive spiders web tattooed all over his head. I tried to look tough and dangerous. This was quite difficult as I ate my panini, drinking a latte, whilst wearing a luminous yellow t-shirt and spandex shorts with a cycle helmet that looked like a plastic mushroom on my head.
Thankfully, they kept their distance and I didn't have to demonstrate my Karate Kid techniques (wax on, wax off). I'm sure, however, they kept away because we were still damp from the rainstorm the previous day and they could smell us. On this last point I'm serious!
Eventually, after 130km we reached a hotel. Of course we didn't have a room booked and we had all sorts of problems. That's what happens when you don't follow the Plan!